“Detective Robinson?”
“Come in…”
Gerald pushed the bottle of beer on his desk to the side. Drinking was an issue in his youth. He recalled many nights passed out or forgotten and many mornings feeling miserable and sick to his stomach. Since those many years ago he hadn’t touched the stuff until recently that is.
“I-I’m sorry…” the new intern entered his office with a blank expression. She fidgeted, her one-inch heels clicking on the hardwood floor, “Is this a bad time?”
“I’m on duty,” he grunted.
“R-right. Of course,” she shoved her thick dark hair behind her ear, “I know we just got a huge box of evidence from the house, but you said you wanted to read through this first thing…”
In her hand was the journal. The journal belonging to Dr. Makos.
“Oh… Yes. Thanks. You can leave it on that shelf there.”
The intern hesitated, then did as she was asked, “I’m sorry about what happened. Your partner sounded like a good man. And your friend… I’m sure you’ll find her-”
“Thank you,” Gerald cut her off.
She nodded before skirting out the door.
Sometimes Gerald believed Ryan was still there. He would find him hiding and watching YouTube videos at his desk, ready to offer some potato chips or a silly joke - occasionally information pertaining to a new client. However, every time Gerald passed his workspace he was greeted by the new intern’s lost expression.
Ryan was murdered only a month ago. The case blew up right in Gerald’s face. He thought he could be the hero and save everyone. In the end, he was bested by what could only be explained as the supernatural…
He was able to save the two kids, that ironically he put in danger, and one more they rescued in the forest. Though none of them would ever mentally heal. Gerald even wondered what would happen to his own mind. It wasn’t blood or death that churned the detective’s stomach, but the haunting of failure and the incomprehensible darkness that lurked in the shadow’s of this world.
Dr. Makos could be the one to tie all of Gerald’s theories together. Unfortunately, he was dead now. The old man withered away before Gerald could even question him. All he knew was somehow Dr. Makos was behind everything - the cult, the deaths, the sadism, Thanatos itself…
Gerald staggered from his desk and retrieved the journal the intern left behind. The leather binding felt aged and stiff in the corners.
Once they identified the old man as Dr. Makos, Gerald didn’t hesitate in raiding the man’s home, only to discover little to nothing. It was foolish to believe a villain would keep everything in one place, especially a home - the most obvious of locations.
The only shred of hope Gerald found was this journal. He made himself comfortable in his cushioned office chair and prayed for something to be revealed to him. Nothing he did could bring the dead back, but he would do his job. He would explain everything even if he spent the rest of his life chasing this demon.
March 28, 1995
Teaching is boring me. It has for a long time. Students are only here to socialize amongst themselves and build up their pretentious status. Let’s let everyone know how smart we are because we took Professor Makos psychology class! I know that’s what they’re thinking. These spoiled children with their parent’s funding their every desire. The lack of intellectual passion is disturbing…
I want to help. I need to help. I need something to give me purpose.
Gerald sifted through some pages, the next few entries being mostly complaints about the students in his class. There were a couple bad days where Makos used vulgar language. Sounds like a prick.
Sifting through evidence was taboo for detectives, but Gerald felt antsy. He needed to find something!
August 15, 1998
After years I’ve finally done it! I left my job at the school. Won’t have to deal with them anymore. I’ve taken up a private practice as a therapist. Finally, I can help those who really need it.
Short entry. We’re celebrating tonight.
August 18, 1998
The others are questioning my faith. I don’t think it strange to ask for clarification or think outside the box. If inventors and doctors didn’t venture into unknown territories we never would have progressed. My friends aren’t deep thinkers… I cannot follow gods blindly. I simply ask that they reveal answers to me.
Dec 5, 2007
I have a new patient. Little blonde girl and by far the most fascinating creature I’ve ever encountered. I’ve studied many phobias in my lifetime - these odd things that trigger certain human’s and our psyche. This girl could hardly sit still. It was as if sitting, standing, even breathing made her unsettled. When I talked with her, I realized she was afraid of something as natural as birth, and yet it’s complete counterpart. Death itself. Or perhaps the act of dying which makes more sense to me. She doesn’t seem religious which would, however, explain her fear if she believes in the vast emptiness of no longer existing.
January 12, 2008
I was in a foul mood all day. The others have expressed their concerns once again. They think I am weak. They think I defy our god, but on the contrary. I am showing curiosity in our master, intrigue is flattery! They soil his name in their chanting and false respects.
I’ve also found cancer in my brain.
January 16, 2008
The young girl I wrote of before - we’re making progress I believe. After I shared with her my beliefs in Death, she responded with enthusiasm I’d only seen when I first learned of it. She has potential. It’s only been a little more than a month since our first visit, so we’re feeling quite optimistic.
February 6, 2008
She lost it. Her mind is so delicate, one more trigger and I fear she may lose this fight. I’m not giving up, however. I became a psychologist for a reason - she WILL be treated. My desire to aid these helpless souls grows… she can’t be the only one out there. I’m not entirely sure why I’m drawn to this patient in particular. Perhaps I can empathize with uncertainty.
I’m not looking forward to the ceremony tonight.
It’s happened! Tonight I finally met HIM. Once everyone left the ceremony room I bellowed my woes and frustrations to our lord, and he appeared. My entire body crumpled to the floor. Once a prideful lion I now crawled before the lord of death like a whimpering child. The fear and intensity were unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
He spoke to me! His voice was enchanting, bewitching. He wasn’t at all what I expected. His outline was man, but he was a walking dark cloud. I didn’t dare touch him, but if I had I think my hand would’ve gone through him! Imagine. I will never forget this day - this moment in which my life changed forever.
What he told me dissolved the worries I had, obviously, but now my mind is filled with more questions. Knowledge is infinite! This small world Thanatos rules is much bigger than I expected.
He’s asked me to do something… It goes against morals I’ve known to be acceptable. But when it is your god, how can you refuse?
April 29, 2008
He visits me in my dreams now. Has been for the last month. The dreams are usually the same. In some way or form, I am brutally killed. I feel myself suffocating, drowning, burning even... But my lord always appears offering me his hand. The same request sounds through my ears in his hushed tone. I’ve been putting it off for too long… I have been chosen. It is not something I can run from.
Why should I run? My lord has chosen me! Not the others! Not those serpents and their false tongues! I am the true servant of death!
May 3, 2008
Tonight I make my sacrifice. My body and soul, and those whom my master has deemed worthy. It would be silly to say I am not nervous, but I am also excited. He has promised all the answers I seek. Soon the knowledge will be mine to wield. Once I have power over death, my patients will never fear life again. It is a glorious awakening.
I find myself lost… confused. It has been hours since I delivered my master his sacrifices. I wait now at the cabin in the mountains, our usual meeting grounds for our ceremonies. You should’ve seen everyone’s reaction! The looks on their faces were priceless! Of course, I couldn’t get so many minds to comply with our lord’s wishes willingly. Obviously. Since they weren't true followers… They got what they deserved. Finally.
It was the perfect plan. Everyone got lazy from the burning wood my lord picked out for us. Except for me of course, I stayed alert and immune. Once everyone couldn’t continue to stand, only kneel, I began my duty. The master requested they all be awake as they bled to death. It has something to do with the ritual. The sacrifices needed to fear their doom. I do wish it could've been done it differently. It would’ve been easier with a headshot or burning the cabin to the ground. But I had to obey… he wanted it to be personal. I had to numb myself as I removed the arms and legs of a man I once played golf with. Of all these pretenders, he was at least unpleasant in conversation. His eyes bulged from his head as he shrieked, and his ruby blood pumped from the stumps. I attempted to soothe him, I did, and I told him our lord requested his death and that it was a great honor. After some choice words from his lips, I get the feeling he didn't believe me.
None of them believed after all.
How dare they call themselves the true cult. I am the cult.
May 8th, 2008
Finally! At last! My lord has appeared! My every wish will be granted. He has made a new request, which did raise my suspicions. But his plan is brilliant.
After my encounter with the young girl with thanatophobia, I found another. I’m impressed how young these poor souls are. My lord expressed great interest in my work. Imagine! To rebuild his glory, I am to find the lost souls that seek his guidance. From here on, I shall be his most loyal servant, executioner, overseer, and knight.
Gerald rubbed circled around his eyes. It couldn’t have been more obvious evidence. Makos practically made a confession in his last entries. So many years ago though… A few pages were left, but no more thorough entries were written. At least until Gerald’s fingers flipped to the last page.
At the bottom of the page, a final scribbled note:
November 2016
I may return to my home a new man. In every sense. If I do not, then this diary along with much will be found in my home by you, Gerald Robinson.
Detective. If you are reading this then you have succeeded in avoiding my fate. My master chose you, perhaps he saw something in you.. the same thing he saw in me.
Know that this is something we can’t always control. It’s something that can come for us
Sincerely
James Makos.
Gerald seethed at the note. His pulse quickened. What did that old bastard know? With ferocity, the detective chucked the journal across the room. His table was next, as he scooped it up and flipped the entire thing over. His files, computer, nameplate, and alcohol all came crashing to the floor.
The cult of Thanatos, no matter how vast, would perish at his hands. Every last one of them would die.
Gerald spat at the ground.
